


Default: The Stage Production

by GlitterNyappyGacktRose



Category: CallMeKevin - Fandom, トモダチコレクション 新生活 | Tomodachi Life
Genre: Gen, References to Macbeth, References to Shakespeare, Screenplay/Script Format, Tragedy/Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25263799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterNyappyGacktRose/pseuds/GlitterNyappyGacktRose
Summary: The neither overwhelming nor underwhelming story of default, told in the format of a play.
Relationships: Turg/Default
Comments: 12
Kudos: 17





	1. Act 1

[The stage is in darkness. A booming voice breaks the silence]

**Lil Kev:** Hey there, friends. How’s it going? My name is Lil Kev the Narrator. And today I’m going to do something a little different.

[The spotlight turns on, revealing the closed red curtain on the stage]

**Lil Kev:** I am here today to tell you a tale: A tragedy that isn’t tragic. A comedy that isn’t comedic.

Now, behold as your socks remain firmly on your feet. Prepare for your mind not to be blown, and your jaws not to drop. For this is naught but a neutral tale, the tale of default.

[The curtains open, revealing a beach scene. At the side of the stage, Grognak is holding up a sign that says: “Mild Reactions Only”. A few people in the front row clap quietly. Default casually walks onto the stage, and begins to speak in a flat voice]

**default:** I am default.

I am by the sea.

I feel neutral.

No strong feelings for me.

The sand here is sandy.

And the sea is wet.

The temperature is mild:

It is quite adequate.

Neither strong nor weak

Is this mild breeze.

It’s time for digging.

I’ll walk through the trees.

[There is a long pause. Default looks unfazed as she repeats her line]

**default:** I’ll walk through the trees.

[Having missed his cue the first time, Turg hurries onto the stage as fast as he can, at a speed which is slightly faster than a snail. He’s dressed as a palm tree. As he rushes, he faceplants onto the stage. He gets up and shuffles into position, playing the role of a tree]

**Turg:** Turg tree!

[Default ignores him. She circles the Turg tree once, then starts digging. After some time, she stops]

**default:** Now it’s lunch time.

Plain white bread.

[She takes some bread out from her pocket and eats it]

No more digging.

It’s time for bed.

[The lights dim, bathing the stage in darkness once more]


	2. Act 2

[The curtains open, revealing a dark stage. From seemingly nowhere, the narrator’s voice can be heard]

**Lil Kev:** Hey there, friends. How’s it going? My name is Lil Kev the Narrator. And speaking of friends, today default will make a friend. Just in her own neutral way…

[The stage lights up, revealing default’s room. On the right, default is lying on her bed, her eyes open. On the left, Turg is standing outside her door]

**Turg:** Turg lonely. Turg want friend.

[He goes to knock on the door, but backs away at the last second]

**Turg:** Turg scared…

[He paces nervously before spotting a single white snowdrop flower in the grass outside. He carefully picks the flower and stares at it for a few seconds. Then, with a big smile, he leaps into the air with joy and enthusiastically knocks on default’s door]

[Default sits up in her bed, her expression neutral]

**default:** Someone is knocking

At my door.

I feel neutral,

Nothing more.

[She gets up from the bed and opens the door. Turg slowly walks in and hands her the flower with a huge smile. Default’s expression remains blank as she takes it]

**Turg:** Turg… flower!

**default:** I am neither moved nor repulsed by this gesture.

**Turg:** Turg… friend?

[Turg stares at default with puppy dog eyes. Default moves away from him and steps into the spotlight. A piano begins to play a tune, but default just speaks her lines in a flat tone while holding the snowdrop in her hands]

**default:** That’s my neighbour

Over there.

He gave me this.

Not that I care.

This was alright.

An okay chat.

We’re acquaintances

And that is that.

My heart is beating

At normal rate.

These neutral feelings:

I’ll tell him straight.

[The spotlight fades and default turns to Turg]

**default:** I have no strong feelings one way or the other.

**Turg:** Turg happy!

[He happily skips outside, through the door. Meanwhile, default places the snowdrop in a vase. As soon as she does, the stage turns dark. The spotlight returns, this time focusing on Jim Pickens, who is cackling over a bubbling cauldron]

**Jim Pickens:** Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Through single flower it is told:

Watch this neutral tale unfold.

The story of a neutral death

As our default draws her last breath.

A single piece of poisoned bread

And with one bite, default is dead!

In life and death, default is bland.

And without her, life will be grand!*

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

A neutral tale with Jim Pickens?

Impossible! Jim always wins!

[There is an explosion of green smoke. Jim reaches into the cauldron and pulls out a single piece of white bread. And with a final cackle from Jim, the stage is covered in darkness once more]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The Irish usage of the word grand, meaning "fine" or "ok".


	3. Chapter 3

[A voice pierces the darkness]

**Lil Kev:** Hey there, friends. How’s it going? My name is Lil Kev the Narrator. And today, I’m going to do something a little different. Today we’re going to lose our friend, default. And I honestly don’t know how to feel about it…

[The stage lights up, revealing default, who is digging at the beach]

**Lil Kev:** In a true twist

Of neutral fate

Our world will lose

It’s bland blank slate.

Together we had

An okay time.

Now watch her dig:

Her sole pastime.

[Default, seemingly oblivious to what has been said, continues to dig with a neutral expression]

**default:** I am digging

Through the sand.

Life is neutral.

Ah sure, it’s grand.

But I must stop.

It’s almost noon.

No more digging.

It’s lunchtime soon.

[Grognak, who is still holding the “Mild Reactions Only” sign, shudders]

**Grognak:** With the scent of white breadcrumbs

Something wicked this way comes!

[There is an explosion of green smoke as Jim Pickens suddenly appears, wearing a black cloak and a witch’s hat. Default seems completely unsurprised and neutral]

**Jim Pickens:** All hail, default! Hail to thee, Queen of Neutrality!

All hail, default! Hail to thee, Goddess of Mediocrity!

All hail, default, that shall meet death hereafter!

**default:** I beg your pardon?

I don’t understand.

I don’t speak Shakespeare.

I just speak bland.

**Jim Pickens (clears his throat)** : I know you’re hungry

Have some bread!

The flavour’s normal:

You won’t drop dead!

[With his fingers crossed behind his back, Jim Pickens uses his other hand and reaches into the pocket of his long, black cloak. He pulls out a single piece of white bread and passes it to default]

**default:** It’s time to eat.

I’ll open wide.

[default opens her mouth and eats the bread]

My average hunger’s

Been satisfied.

[Jim Pickens starts cackling like a maniac]

**Jim Pickens:** You have eaten

My poisoned bread!

The clock is ticking:

You’re good as dead!!!

[Jim continues to cackle as he leaves the stage. All of a sudden, an orchestra begin to play a dramatic and emotional piece. Default calmly looks down at her stomach, her expression neutral]

**default:** Is this for real?

Is this the end?

I’ve naught but bread

And just one friend.

[At this moment, Turg rushes over as fast as his legs can carry him]

**Turg:** Default… ok?

[default nods, and pats Turg on the shoulder]

**default:** This is the end.

But it’s ok.

I’m with my friend

And by the bay.

[default coughs and slowly falls to her knees. Turg gently pats her on the head]

**default:** My acquaintance here

Is just too kind.

I’m facing death,

But I don’t mind.

I have no feelings,

I know I’ll die.

And for my death

On sand I’ll lie.

[default lies down on the sand and blinks slowly]

**default:** And as I draw

My final breath,

I feel indifferent

To my own death.

[As default closes her eyes, Turg stares sadly down at her. A single violin plays a sad tune. Turg gently places the snowdrop he gave her earlier in her hands and spends a few moments in silence]

**Voice from backstage:** Default is dead!

**Another voice:** Default is dead?

**Yet another voice:** Default is dead!

[An upbeat piano piece starts playing as Jimantha, Grognak, MiiCasso, Dan the Villain, GORG and Ron run up onto the stage and burst into song]

**All (except Turg):** Default is dead!

Not that we care!

Won’t shed a tear

When she’s not here.

Default is dead.

Default is dead!

Not that we care!

Won’t jump with glee,

Neutral we be!

Default is dead!

[One by one, each person steps forward for their solo]

**Grognak:** Default is dead:

Her neutral image.

But I don’t care.

I’ll stomp your village!

**MiiCasso:** She’ll be forgotten

That happened to me.

What makes Turg better?

I’m great! You’ll see!

[They shoot a disgusted look at Turg. Turg, who is sitting beside default’s body, doesn’t notice]

**Turg:** Turg sad.

Turg miss friend…

**Dan the Villain:** She didn’t laugh,

She didn’t grumble.

Now that’s she’s gone,

To games I tumble!

[Dan the Villain pulls a Switch out of his pocket]

**GORG:** Don’t forget to like and subscribe.

**Dan the Villain:** THAT’S MY LINE

THAT YOU GRUMBLE!!!

YOU HAVE SOME NERVE!!!

I’LL MAKE YOU TUMBLE!!!

[Dan the Villain whacks GORG in the shin. GORG tumbles to the floor, causing the whole stage to shake and rumble. Jimantha steps over him]

**Jimantha:** Default liked digging.

I like to swim.

My name’s Jimantha.

I’m sooo not Jim!

[Jimantha storms off the stage. Moments later, Jim Pickens appears with a knife in his hand]

**Jim Pickens:** Now, who to kill

With my knife

In this game of

Tomodachi Life?

[His eyes settle on default's lifeless body]

Not that I noticed,

When she was there.

Her neutral death?

I just don’t care!

[Everyone else glances nervously at the knife. Ron however, who hasn’t noticed it, starts singing his solo]

**Ron:** “A neutral death”?

What does that mean?

I’m off to bed.

Oh, look! A bean!

[As Ron bends down to pick up the bean, he narrowly avoids being slashed by Jim’s knife. Jim casually hides the knife behind his back, and everyone starts singing together again]

**All (except Turg):** Default is dead!

Not that we care!

Won’t shed a tear

When she’s not here

Default is dead.

Default is dead!

Not that we care!

Won’t jump with glee

Neutral we be!

Default is dead!

Our feelings are neutral…

[The song comes to an abrupt end]

**Dan the Villain:** Don’t forget to like and subscribe!

[A few people clap casually as each everyone starts leaving the stage]

**Lil Kev:** And there goes the tale, the tale of default. Not that we felt particularly strongly about it or anything… Anyway, thank you for watching. I really appreciate it! Now, you better get going before Jim starts killing people…

[Someone in the crowd lets out a scream as they burst into flame]

**Grognak:** Ahem…

[They tap the “Neutral Reactions Only” sign. The crowd begin to file out, ignoring those who randomly catch fire or who are suddenly encased in a block of ice. Meanwhile, Lil Kev the Narrator appears on stage. He sits at the edge, fanning himself with a paper fan]

**Dan the Villain:** Hey, that’s my fan!

[He lunges at him and tries to take it]

**Lil Kev:** No, this is my fan! Aaagh, stop! Get your own fan! I only have one!

[Lil Kev manages to push Dan the Villain off of him]

**Lil Kev:** Well, I hope you enjoyed this. That’s all for now. See you next time!


End file.
